Funny Mothers Day Quotes for Cards

Looking for funny mothers day quotes? We’ve got a fabulously funny selection here that will make you and your Mom smile!

Or at least reassure you that you’re not alone — the quote about lack of sleep certainly rings true for me right now!

 

 

 

Funny Mothers Day Quotes

“If evolution really works,
how come Mothers only have two hands?”
-Milton Berle

“It is never easy being a mother.
If it were easy, fathers would do it.”
-Anon

“Insanity is hereditary; you get it from your children!”
-Sam Levenson

“I’d like to be the ideal mother,
but I’m too busy raising my kids.”
-Anon

“Children are natural mimics who act like their parents
despite every effort to teach them good manners.”
-Anon

“Working mothers are guinea pigs in a scientific experiment
to show that sleep is not necessary to human life.”
-Anon

“The one thing children wear out faster than shoes is parents.”
-John J. Plomp

“Setting a good example for your children
takes all the fun out of middle age.”
-William Feather

“My mother told me a million times not to exaggerate.”
-Anon

“I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford.
Then I want to move in with them.”
-Phyllis Diller

“The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers.
The original meal has never been found.”
-Calvin Trillin

“My mother’s menu consisted of two choices: Take it or leave it.”
-Buddy Hackett

“There is only one pretty child in the world, and every mother has it.”
-Chinese Proverb