Funny Mothers Day Quotes for Cards

Looking for funny mothers day quotes? We’ve got a fabulously funny selection here that will make you and your Mom smile!

Or at least reassure you that you’re not alone — the quote about lack of sleep certainly rings true for me right now!




Funny Mothers Day Quotes

“If evolution really works,
how come Mothers only have two hands?”
-Milton Berle

“It is never easy being a mother.
If it were easy, fathers would do it.”

“Insanity is hereditary; you get it from your children!”
-Sam Levenson

“I’d like to be the ideal mother,
but I’m too busy raising my kids.”

“Children are natural mimics who act like their parents
despite every effort to teach them good manners.”

“Working mothers are guinea pigs in a scientific experiment
to show that sleep is not necessary to human life.”

“The one thing children wear out faster than shoes is parents.”
-John J. Plomp

“Setting a good example for your children
takes all the fun out of middle age.”
-William Feather

“My mother told me a million times not to exaggerate.”

“I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford.
Then I want to move in with them.”
-Phyllis Diller

“The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers.
The original meal has never been found.”
-Calvin Trillin

“My mother’s menu consisted of two choices: Take it or leave it.”
-Buddy Hackett

“There is only one pretty child in the world, and every mother has it.”
-Chinese Proverb